welcome to the b-side of my life

Just when I get my IRL social life to a steady mediocre..

2008-01-12T13:38:53Z

I realize I up left my online life to DIE AND ROT IN A FILTHY GUTTER CORNER ALL ALONE. *tears*

I'm working on it! NO; Seriously. 2008 came, and brought a load of fantastically awesome developments, I'm motivated like I haven't been in years, and I've been working in secret on all kinds of projects for the longest time now. Finally, things are getting into the area of "soon to be finished".

CheerZombie [dot] Net is being worked on, I've been homeless for the longest time now, it's got to be done. Meanwhile, I went and got my DeviantArt Account up and running: here. I know, I know, I'm at least five years too old to participate in that kind of spazz, but whatever. It feels good to be out there, in the open again. I've uploaded some fashion as well as interfaces and general graphspazzart.

CheerZombie has a new "Back Soon" image: Ladies and Gentlemen, it's a Rocket Launch! Gives you a glimpse at the new layout. I'm hoping to get the "General Information" part of the site up until the end of the month, depending on how demanding my upcoming internship will be. There's going to be a lot of bigger subsections, one solely dedicated to my fashion/sewing stuff, one to the graphics/art crapponism. And, quite possibly, a GIANT EGO CORNER. What would CZ be without it??

In other news, I'll be in London for London Edge from February 1st to February 4th.

Ah, my self-esteem just came out of the basement. THE LIGHT! It's hurting my eyes! Trees are green?!!

Ok nevermind. Cheers!!!

writer's strike spasmatic hysteria/junkie fit

2007-11-11T01:02:49Z

Arhhhhh don't get me wrong, I'm all for the writer's cause, more power to you, thumbs up, etc etc... BUT I'M GOING COLD TURKEY just thinking about the massively shortened tv seasons this year!!! Five more episodes to come, at best!! Desperate Housewives just got good again, and Heroes is just about to turn a crappy start into a kick-ass mid-season. Now, this can be made up for, I'll just bring forward my annual x-files marathon, or maybe I'll invest in that Steven King marathon I had planned for some time.

But you know what there is no replacement for? Noooooooooooooooooooooooo Supernatural!!!!! Noooooo!! I cannot do without my winchester boys for more than a week! How will I survive without my two favourite texan boys (I KNOW, KANSAS; ACTORS!)?! And that perfect mix of shutguns, jensen ackles, shotguns, ghosts, gore, hotchicks and demons? AND THE CAR. OH GOD NOOOOO, It's like you're about to eat the best pizza of all times, only to have the evil men snatch it away from you, leaving you with only anchovy and a greasy recipe for fruit punch. DEPRESSING

Dark times lie ahead, indeed.

and just 34 days until...

2007-10-21T09:11:07Z

FIRST SNOW OF THE YEAR! Yippieeeeh!!!
I call snowball fight, who's in!

cheerzombie @ 2007-10-20T15:38:00

2007-10-20T13:45:27Z

This is so awesome.

While my only ship is Sirius/Remus (just to note that I just find this awesome in a fangirl way, but generally..), this is totally awesome. And it absolutely works. And did I say how great this is?? JK, you really, really, really kick ass. I feel the urge to physically applaud her now.
Awesome awesome awesome.

I have no friends!!!

2007-10-18T12:12:11Z

Anyone interested in a short trip to see Patrick Wolf in London mid-December?? I'm thinking three to four days. It's his last gig this season, tickets are (still) available, flights are cheap if you're early (I just checked) and you could do some Holiday shopping in the UK! Get your dad some chic british socks for Christmas, I'm sure he won't expect it!!

Alternately, anyone located in the UK want to hang out with me in case I'm going? SU I'M LOOKING AT YOU XD Ok just kidding, not intending to frighten anyone

Argh I need travel buddies!! It's always the same problem!!!

books meme

2007-10-07T22:29:16Z

Just got back from my little trip, dead tired, watching Law and Order because it doesn't require any more attention than staring at walls. My god, what a dull yet strangely entertaining and somehow invincible tv series it is.

Anyway, anyway, some meme. Also, I really didn't know about that librarything website, but I'll totally get an account as soon as possible and start archiving my books tomorrow. No more buying things twice, or forgetting about books I've had and not read for longer than what you call decent.
That being said, MAN that list makes me miserable. All those fantastic books I haven't read yet! Ahhhhh!!! By the way, I mostly just underlined the books that classify as priority to reads, or already own but haven't gotten to read yet (I spend almost as much on books as I do on clothes, and that means something. Unfortunately you can't buy time, so sometimes it takes so time to catch up on my new purchases, although I read fairly quickly). I'd like to read (or read into) the entire list, so imagine it all underlined. Also, some of my books I have several language versions of (for example, Les Miserables I own in English, French and German). I marked those with an asterisk, as well.

"These are the top 106 books most often marked as "unread" by librarything's users (as of today). As usual, bold what you have read, italicize those you started but couldn't finish, and strike through what you couldn't stand. Add an asterisk to those you've read more than once. Underline those on your to-read list."

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
Anna Karenina*
Crime and Punishment
Catch-22***
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Wuthering Heights
The Silmarillion
Life of Pi : a novel
The Name of the Rose
Don Quixote
Moby-Dick*
Ulysses
The Odyssey
Pride and Prejudice
Jane Eyre
A Tale of Two Cities
The Brothers Karamazov*
Guns, Germs, and Steel: the fates of human societies
War and Peace
Vanity Fair
The Time Traveler's Wife
The Iliad
Emma
The Blind Assassin
The Kite Runner
Mrs. Dalloway
Great Expectations
American Gods
Atlas Shrugged
Reading Lolita in Tehran: a memoir in books
Memoirs of a Geisha
Middlesex
Quicksilver
Wicked: the life and times of the wicked witch of the West*
The Canterbury Tales*
The Historian: a novel
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Love in the Time of Cholera
Brave New World*
The Fountainhead
Foucault's Pendulum
Middlemarch
Frankenstein
The Count of Monte Cristo
Dracula
A Clockwork Orange*
Anansi Boys
The Once and Future King
The Grapes of Wrath
The Poisonwood Bible: a novel
1984
Angels & Demons
The Inferno
The Satanic Verses
Sense and Sensibility
The Picture of Dorian Gray*
Mansfield Park
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest*
To the Lighthouse
Tess of the D'Urbevilles
Oliver Twist*
Gulliver's Travels
Les Misérables*
The Corrections
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time
Dune
The Prince
The Sound and the Fury
Angela's Ashes : A Memoir
The God of Small Things
A People's History of the United States: 1492-present
Cryptonomicon
Neverwhere
A Confederacy of Dunces
A Short History of Nearly Everything
Dubliners
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Beloved
Slaughterhouse-Five
The Scarlet Letter
Eats, Shoots & Leaves
The Mists of Avalon
Oryx and Crake: a novel
Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed
Cloud Atlas
The Confusion
Lolita
Persuasion
Northanger Abbey
The Catcher in the Rye*
On the Road
The Hunchback of Notre Dame*
Freakonomics: a Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: an Inquiry into Values
The Aeneid
Watership Down
Gravity's Rainbow
The Hobbit
White Teeth
Treasure Island*
David Copperfield
The Three Musketeers

LOL at the Simarillion XD

Thanks to my war training, I will simply render the secret appliance knock

2007-10-01T21:39:42Z

OH GOD I AM SICK. In the literal way, too, at the moment. I've had to cancel work today and tomorrow. Not that I could do any work even if I wanted to (I've tried to do some drawing, sewing respectively but I was exhausted after just two minutes). I'm leaving to visit my Grandmother on Wednesday, so in order to get real sick and well within two days, I've canceled any other activities. One thing I just noticed though, is that, however extensive it may have become (I'm currently stocking up) my DVD collection is severely lacking in get-well movies. When sneezing, tired, and with a headache, all I really want to do is lie on my sofa and watch Disney movies. Only, I have NONE AT ALL. Sacrilege!! More than anything, I'd like to watch one of my all-time animated favorite movies, Brave Little Toaster. It has some reeeally scary scenes (no, seriously! the part with the compactor induced many, many nightmares when I was little). But it's got great characters and themes about bravery and you-can-do-it etc etc. It definitely played a role in me not being able to throw anything away. I don't think anyone can look at their mixer with the same eyes once they watched the movie.

Also, that same nightmare-ish compactor scene probably is responsible for me throwing a fit as well as crying hysterically when I my dad scrapped old blue Ford Escort MK4. I wouldn't speak to him for a couple of days, and I've kept its little logo plate. And I still think it's one of the best cars ever. I'd get either that or the equally awesome Taunus model anytime. I'm sorry, I just love pre 90's Ford. The only kind of car I'd ever want to drive.

Anway, other movies I like to watch when I'm sick (or feeling bad in general):

Land before time
The Last Unicorn
The AristoCats
Tri orisky pro Popelku

I <3 movies.

Everytime I see a tv report on the new Nolita campaign (the one with the 70 pounds person) I feel like eating a whole box of donuts. That's a whole new way to feel sick about something!

Finally, I got one of my holy grails! It's the gold/plastic-y VW orb pendant, yay! I don't like the ones she has in her current collection, they're much too cool and understated for me. I need something much more trashy and well... GOLD. Yay happiness!!

Also, the designs for the Lip Service Spring lines are up already, gahh I haven't even ordered half the stuff I wanted from the previous holiday collections! Anyway, I want almost everything from the Zip Service line, it looks fantastic. Also, the Teacher hit me with a ruler line looks great, want want want!

Off to watch Jackie Brown now and lie on my sofa and drink lots of tea.

PS: LOL

Gott mit Dir Du Land der ...

2007-09-27T12:56:30Z

Ich bin ja nicht wirklich besonders politisch engagiert (jaja, Asche auf mein Haupt, Schande auch, Themawechsel!). Aber diese Pauli... als ob wir in Bayern nicht schon genug Witzfiguren hätten... *mit dem Transrapid davonsaus*

Look at me, I'm an attention whore!!

PAIN

2007-09-22T21:15:55Z

Clearly NOT using my LJ as frequently as intended to. Will make up with consequentially pointless and short ramble.
You know how normal people have mousearms? Ok, REALLY normal people probably get tennisarms, or wankpain, but that's not the point here. Well, I HAVE A SCROLLFINGER. Yes, indeed. My index finger aches and has become practically useless, all because I scroll too much. (Which is a nice addition to the callus around my middle finger I've had since the first time I picked up a pen)
I've been using my other fingers to use the mouse wheel, and am now up to scrolling with my pinky. Which is as ridiculous as it is impractical. Ah, to quote people smarter than me, "The Internet is a useful thing, but it has made none of us better people". And apparently not healthier, either!

Are those your intestines coming out of your ears or are you just happy to see me?

2007-09-08T17:22:40Z

OMG WTF IS THIS SHIT OMGOMGOMGOMG

I just spit a fountain of milk on my couch. AT THE SAME TIME I VOMITED IN MY MOUTH A LITTLE.
ALSO MY EYEBALLS MAY BE BLEEDING.

wtf wtf wtf!!! *shakes chequeredfelon frantically* WHAT IS THIS?! I shouldn't have passed your subtle warning ("Cinema Bizarre, die "erste deutsche Visual Kei Band" [...]") as something that I could easily ignore and instead prepared for impact.

AND THE NAME. MIGHT AS WELL HAVE THROWN FECES AT CINEMA STRANGE. Ah, BLASPHEMY
It doesn't help that I just saw the "new" "Nightwish" "video". AND ALL I WANTED WAS TO WATCH RIHANNA MAKE OUT WITH AN UMBRELLA. I HATE MUSIC TELEVISION.

I have developed some amount of tolerance towards modern popculture, and thought nothing could really take me by surprise. BUT LEAVE THAT TO the sheer insanity of the present German music industry. This is too much for me, old-fashioned and gridlocked as I am. TOKIO HOTEL IS AT LEAST FUNNY OK?? These people... it's just wrong. I'm not sure if aesthetic value can actually be violated, but it sure feels like it was.

AND NOW PLEASE EXCUSE ME I have some acoustic hygiene to do. In fact, I might actually have to listen to at least an hour of Bauhaus and The Cure. They shouldn't have to clean up other people's mess =( What measures I have to take to rid myself of the traces of such profanity. Seeing as it's also raining, and a Saturday, I might actually end up passed out on my sofa by force of melancholy but if THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES.

OH GOD NO AMOUNT OF CAPS CAN EXPRESS MY DISMAY also I think I even smell like indignation. It's sort of mint-y with a hint of anise.

Shopping, food & alcohol. Shortcut to happiness.

2007-09-06T20:29:39Z

Ok, today was a quiet indulgence day. I need that sometimes. And with "sometimes" I mean "every day". Mind, this is going to be an equally content/IQ free entry. Not like that's news, but just pointing it out with extra topping.

I accidentally woke up at half past eight, which is completely middle-of-the-night and not acceptable from any point-of-bohemian-view. So with all mighty force I put myself back to sleep, and got up a decent couple of hours later. Seriously, there's only so much daylight that I can stand, and that's anything less than five hours.
I decided to do some shopping for necessities (needless to say, I did not acquire anything that was on my list). I noticed I have way too many crazy colors in my wardrobe I've got to get rid of; yeah I don't know how they got there in the first place. It's not that I mind color, but, well... I do. It's all OUT THERE, and hiding is much more different (wearing black, you can just stand in shady corners, but when wearing colors, you actually have to stand behind columns and large objects and stuff. And yes, I DO HIDE BEHIND LARGE OBJECTS WHEN IN PUBLIC. Ask Carmen, she lost me a couple of times.) Also, it requires way too much effort to match clothes. Hence, I go existentialist.
Having previously tried it on on four different occasions, I gave in and got myself this dress. It's a black knit thing, and kind of tight, but with very nice long sleeves. Also, a black pleated skirt, because you can never have enough of those. And black/white burlington knee-highs, because I just love showing off my pasty, scarred kneecaps. Furthermore, I still love the Betsey Johnson Fall 2007 show, and I'm determined to make just that my dress code for this year (just like, black/white only. maybe some purple. I like purple). They're not even particularly great outfits, I mean there's much better this season (idea-wise, pretty-wise), BUT, just the idea/theme of it. It's something I can work, and it looks fun, and just great to wear. Mind, there's a big different between those things. Only because I worship Gareth Pugh and Alexander McQueen, doesn't mean I'd try to dress whatever particular fashion they create and promote that season. And particularly Gareth Pugh, uhm... not reeeally.

Talking of fashion, and seeing as fashion week just started... I'm not really impressed so far. That's partly because NY week doesn't have as many designers I care for, anyway (here's looking forwards to Paris!), but sometimes I just wonder how those people make their money? I mean, if those outfits were at least hideous, so I'd have something to be outraged about. But 90% are just blatantly, in-your-face, boring. So far I liked Marchesa (very romantic and cute), and L.A.M.B., although latter is a ginormous rip-off of 2007's collections. It's crazy, even I noticed it at first glance! And I'm nowhere near runway-savvy. Still, it's all almost ridiculously wearable, and fairly cute. Sort of like H&M only fifty times more expensive. Which makes it retarded.

After that I went over to my mom's place and we made Pumpkin Pie. It came out really delicious, but I'm biased because I'm obsessed with pumpkins. It's my favorite vegetable (the interwebz says it's a fruit! whatever!! tastes like vegetable to me. lol.)!! Which is lucky, because I seem to be the only person within three hundred miles radius to like it at all. But seriously, pumpkin soup, pie, stew, juice, whatever <3. Even the color is awesome!! I love fall.
Then I had some redwine, did some sketching, and went home to do more sketching. I might watch "Nil by Mouth" which I recently acquired on DVD, but I'm still kind of scared. My brain has gone squishy from light entertainment, I fear it may explode if confronted with overly ambitious information/emotion/etc.

FINALLY, I got carded AGAIN today, buying cigarettes. HAHA.

random sketch, lj and cooking

2007-09-04T20:55:10Z

Ah, the weather outside is dreadful, silly beautiful rainy November broth at its best. Probably torture to be outside right now, but all the more pleasant at home. I'm having a blast, watching the rain, listening to Charlie Parker, sketching, doing some illustrator stuff.. It's the perfect afternoon!

I started playing around with pastels (I've had them for quite some time now, but haven't used them at all really.. because I FAIL AT THEM.), and thought how I lacked some self-portraits.
Here's a quick sketch I did a little while ago. I'm definitely going to sit down tomorrow (when the light is good enough to draw) and do this for real, because, while it's not the most interesting composition, just glancing at it makes me laugh SO MUCH. I mean, this is my NORMAL FACIAL EXPRESSION ok. NO WONDER people call me grandma all the time. I'm 21 and already I got the disapproving look down, I look like the crazy cat lady across the street. The slight raised-eyebrow, the frown, and the pursed lips, the badly-done makeup, it's all right there. Like, "ARRR I HATE THEM OBNOXIOUS NOISY CHILDREN playing all the time!!"

OMG so funny. I showed my Dad and he's like, "OH NOES that facial expression looks like that of a mean fifty year old!!"
Must do more self-portraits. You learn a lot about yourself that way.

ALSO, just a sketch ok! The look like they were drawn with crayon by a three year old because I do my make up like that. I would have kids paint my face with their crayons, but unfortunately none are ever around when I need them, so I do it myself.

In other news, I just got myself a paid LJ account for the next two months. For absolutely no reason. I just started making myself some new icons (LIKE I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO. obvsly not.) and ran out of space, and paypal payments are sooo fast you don't even notice the spending. Anyway, I probably won't use it much. What can I do with it anyway? I don't even know what kind of features I got now. I just changed my layouts to one with very silly, very purple butterflies.

I'll go see my mum tomorrow, we're cooking together every now and then. I want to stop being a loser, so I figured I'd fix up my cooking skills. Because I have none. I live on cupnoodle, mostly. Which is also because as of late, there's only a handful of things left that will not make me get a stomach ache or just feel awful.
And still, a bit of skill for kitchenworks won't do any harm. Also, since it's now officially september, and my personal Christmas clock is ticking already: I have to practice for Christmas dinner. Last years was delicious, but my Dad did a lot of the cooking. He's quite talented as long as you keep him from experimentation.
Anyway, we're definitely going to make English Plum Pudding. I'll watch "Love, Actually" and listen to Wham!, maybe read some Dickens and generally pretend I'm in a kitschy, Christmas-y version of England. I have to make up for not being able to move to the real one =(

Taking English kitchen advice, now!

vacation & movie marathons

2007-09-02T23:11:33Z

Hello!! Ahhh, nothing ever happens to write about, but anytime it does, I still can't get myself to do the typing.
So, I just arrived at home after almost two weeks at my friend Carmen's place in Leipzig, so I was kind of unavailable. But those who I owe emails to -here's looking at you, kid - I'm working on it, just been preoccupied a little, but I haven't forgotten!
Anyway, it was awesome! Of course - and with the combined talent force of Carmen and her man (who, besides being great fun, repeatedly proves my taste in wine, music and movies BANAL. I am left destroyed in a squishy mass of triviality!!) we took fantastic pictures of some of the clothes I recently made. I owe them all sorts of stabbing-myself-ritually now. Again.

Carmen and I also tried to catch up on not having had decent movie marathons for two years. We went through a whole lot of them, though I managed to fall asleep while watching any of the deep and challenging stuff.
Our choices were a jolly mix of re-watching, "I've always wanted to see this!", "my (insert relation here) told me to see this!" and mutual nostalgia.

Also, you may notice, how I VERY SUBTLY tried to foist as much Gary Oldman on her as possible. Muahahha. Bow to the queen of subtlety. Anyway, fanwank NOW.

But I'm a Cheerleader! - fun movie I've been meaning to watch for a while. It's pretty low budget, but smart and enjoyable and very cute. The girl/girl action scenes were done in a way that was admirably not cheesy, not screaming lesbo-porn, and still not brutal naturalism. Actually, they did them just the way they'd have done girl/boy scenes. I always appreciate that kind of thing. PLUS: Neon colors and lotsa pink.

Sid & Nancy - This is the movie that left me scarred for life in many ways. 1) Gary Oldman in a leopard-print string. Anytime I recall it my mind is left in funny shade of BLANK, don't expect anything further from me. 2) I am still feeling a little like throwing out anything I own that resembles punk fashion in the slightest. I yelled, watching the movie,in a continuous loop, "hahaha GROSS OMG STOP IT AHHH BACTERIA manners EWWW SHE'S FUG, there's dirt on the floor, oh please don't be ridiculous, this is silly, EWWWW, hahaha". I am a consumerist self-involved glum idiot.
Total though, it was a good movie. I really believe so, not only because of Gary Oldman. Ok, maybe 70%. Or 80%. But he's a really good actor too!!!11 / It had its good scenes, and like I will repeat later, disturbing me like this film did, is an accomplishment that I appreciate. Also, I know nothing about the Sex Pistols, and never cared to know anything, so I can't say anything on how close it gets to history.

Immortal Beloved - I think with this movie Carmen initiated the "But why can't anybody have FUN!" yell of despair. Seriously, people mostly aren't very happy. In movies, or life. It always ends in despair and hair-pulling misunderstandings and tragedy. I loved this movie's soundtrack (LOL!! I'm so witty.) Of all the biopics I've seen, this one ranks pretty far up, along with Surviving Picasso. Ok, reconsidering this, these are both not classical biographies, but concerning the artist and his women. Moving on...

Pan's Labyrinth - I've been meaning to watch this since I saw the first stills, but I don't really go to the movies, ever, except if I'm a really big fan of something or if I'm forced to. Anyway, it was a good movie. It was creepy enough, but still on the creative side so it was never cheap or boring. Actually I think the idea fantasy/politics & history is so new, and worked so well for this movie.. that really surprised me.

Requiem for a Dream - Apparently everybody and your local hipster love this movie. We did not. I might expose myself as not being artsy and smart and cool enough, but I thought this was a tacky, overdone cliché of a junkie movie. I thought the bit with his mom's addiction had potential, great acting and all, but Jared Leto helped this by being obnoxious in every scene he was in. All the rest of the storylines felt like a dirty broth of the scenes that didn't make it into all the other 9098023 addiction movies mixed, and vomited in the audience's collective mouth.
Ok I stop here, actually I just didn't care a lot about the movie, that's in. I like being mean though, thought I'd take that chance.

Barry Lyndon - Actually I only saw the first part of this movie. I have to admit I skipped the second half and wasted time on the internet. I know, I fail. I just need something to keep my hands busy while watching movies like that. Should have taken up knitting or something. Because now, forever will it go into the anals of history that Barry Lyndon caused my outing as Madame Skin-Deep of Triviality.

Four Rooms - This was crazy and horrible! Four different directors did four different short movies playing in one and the same hotel. Most of it was crap (very, very much so), but the second-to-last clip directed by Rodriguez had some great scenes, and Tarantino's part kicked 100% ass. I know, I'm biased here since I love Tarantino, but it was really great and a good short movie.

True Romance - Pathetic I hadn't seen this before, no? Anyway, I loved it, but then again, that's just my kind of movie and I'm biased and there was lots of shooting and Brad Pitt totally stoned and Patricia Arquette is so cool and Christian Slater still hot and THE BEST DIALOGUE w/ Christopher Walken and the history of the Sicilians and ELVIS and Gary Oldman was terrifying and rocked that accent/dialect/speaking manner whatever I loved this movie.

Scarlet Letter - Ok I admit this was chosen solely for fangirling reasons. And man, does this movie deliver or what? Naked swimming scene anyone??!
Also, I believe we didn't make it through one minute of the movie without someone yelling "she's a witch! burn her!!". But, unless you're really drunk or a fan of Gary Oldman, or Demi Moore good lord, uhm, better not to watch this movie. It's not all that good. I guess. BLAGHH NAKED SWIMMING SCENE.

The Hunger - I have a lady crush on Catherine Deneuve! I think it's impossible not to. How slick and 80's can a movie look? Great style, lots of Bowie, this movie is proof that this man will look hot being a skeleton, haha. The story may have been lacking in some parts, but the overall style made up for that a billion times.

Pretty in Pink - 80's teen movies galore! But the ending was all wrong why didn't she choose Ducky? ZOMG hideous Prom dress!! Steff was the man! Great Soundtrack! I love 80's flicks lalala!

Bitter Moon - Oooooh. Oh. This one we watched right after "Pretty in Pink" or something equally light-hearted. Which was very much like reading "War and Peace" after "Cinderella". Oh wait, War and Peace is just exhausting, but not quite disturbing enough ... The movie felt more like "The Magician" by W. Somerset Maugham. Just the feeling it leaves you with, mind you. Actually, I sincerely loved this movie. I appreciate it much more in retrospect, I still think a lot about it, it still bothers me, and it doesn't let you go and move on very easily. Which is, to me, a sign of a good book or movie. Although I'm faintly scared of starting the actual book "bitter moon" now - literature is always a lot more intense. Imagination is a creepy place. I'm not sure if I dare to read it just yet. And with that said, Roman Polanski and his french muse chick disturb me.

Ghost World - I really like Steve Buscemi. I'll basically watch any movie he's in, and this was a good one.

Klimt - I slept through this one. A hazy, unsteady sleep, since there's only so much sleeping to be done when you know there's John Malkovich staring from a movie screen, no matter how bad the movie. But this one really was. It was amazingly bad. The story was a mess, someone trying to be creative and artsy and failing badly. Liked the style though, costumes, stage design, props. At the moment, the badness of the film really leaves me not wanting to say any more now.

Uzumaki - Last time I saw Uzumaki, I was alone in my very dark, suddenly very big room, it was late/early, and possibly I was a little drunk. THOSE are the only circumstances under which this movie is watchable. And I mean, because it distracts from the badness of the movie. No wonder they kept it in the "trash" category. I made it through my second viewing with a little help from my friends, and yet, all the good intentions didn't help the nasty aftertaste of trash, waste of time and spam it left in my mouth.

Dear, that was a long post. I might just go to bed now. And read some. And possibly watch the Kill Bill movies.
Cheers!

HP7 Spoilers

2007-07-22T19:40:47Z

It's done! Reading was, in the tradition of every series finale, difficult (I recall His Dark Materials, BtVS, AtS, or even, the X Files finale - which I procrastinated watching for over four years).
There's the permanent conflict of wanting to rush through it, anxious to see what happens, how it ends. And on the other hand, savouring every moment, in this case, reading every line slowly, carefully because it's going to be the only time, the last time, you'll be able to read it with equal curiosity, novelty. Closure within your grasp yet full of possiblities.

I have to congrat myself that I did not read a single spoiler beforehand*, made a lot more difficult with me being a regular at places like ONTD. I even managed to ignore, not to glance upon twice, certain scanned pages that appeared a couple of days ago (apparently this was the epilogue??). Because of this, I declare myself and my sheer willpower positively awesome. I will not fail once I am determined! (admittedly a most rare occassion. apparently determination doesn't grow on trees.).

I had my book delivered, as usual. Like I would face people and spoil my fun! Not likely.

Anyway, let's review.
I enjoyed myself so much, I was reading obsessively, you might have thought I was fifteen all over again. Had about twelve cups of coffee and not much else because I was so cought up with reading. I was entirely in HP-world for the hours I spent reading, nothing came through, and that alone was worth it. If a book can capture me like this did, it did its job and with bravour. Yes, I loved it.

- There was some great mythology. I liked the idea of the deathly hallows. Their discovery, the items in context with the characters, it was all well done.

- The sidekicks had been offered adequate opportunities to prove themselves and kick some major ass. Ron was great, saving the day in good old Samwise-manner, like a bff's supposed to. Neville showed his talents. The hogwarts teachers got to be cool even, showing they can actually hold their own. (I thought that was ocassionally missing).

- I loved the whole showdown. From Harry sacrificing himself (he had it coming), then making a big entrance (the scene where Hagrid carries Harry amongst all the Death Eaters towards the castle is going to RULE in the movie!! can't wait!!) and kicking some serious evil ass (all with the big speech, very oldschool). I want to watch the hero save the day in the end, and I want to cheer him on, doing it! I like the great battles. I think this one was well done.

- SNAPE. Rowling worked it out just like it ought to have been. Snape was the man, somewhere at the heart of the story. The twisted, tragic hero, and the only glimpse of love that was not "and they married and bred happily ever after". Great character, great lines, loved it. and.. "After all this time?" "Always," <3

After book six I was upset like everyone else. Oh no Snape killed Dumbledore! How will it all resolve??
But what upset me much more than that was that some people actually thought that was it? Like, that's the story of Snape, that's what the past five years of this character had been leading to, the evil creepy guy turning out to be the evil creepy guy. I'm sorry, but whoever accepted that must have been completely mental, not to say retarded. Cheesy epilogue aside, if you're writing the finale to one of the most read book series ever, I doubt people are going to let you get through with such an incredibly gross plot letdown/mistake. Not that I'd expect Rowling to do anything like that, either. She may not be Shakespeare, but after living a couple of years of life and books, and not being completely oblivious of it, anyone knows good stories don't come in a shiny pink box called WYSIWYG. Btw, that box is right next to the one made of glitter and gold, containing a snort of Deus Ex Machina. Take a teaspoon of either and kill the thrill, instantly!

- I thought neville should have done off with Bellatrix. Although of course, Mrs Weasly getting into the fight, instead of just doing housework, was pretty neat.
Speaking of Bellatrix, everytime she's in a scene with Lord V. I can't help but think they'd make for some interesting NC17 fanfic. lol.

- I loved what they did with the Kreacher character! I was never one to fancy the whole houseelves-arc, never cared much for it after I rather thought Dobby an annoyance (RIP), but I actually cared for their story in this book! Congrats!

- Hedwig was killed. Aw =(

- the curses!! a matter I paid a lot of attention to was the use of the unforgivables. Cleary Harry and the others would have to start using other than fluffy happy magic sooner or later. I admit I raised an eyebrow when I noticed how Harry's first happened almost matter-of-factly, using the Imperius curse on the Death Eater in Gringotts.. more interesting the use of the torture curse. I thought it was a big deal, since they're not drawing on smiles, bunnies and innocence anymore, but actually using some right evil tools. I think that should have some more influence on the characters.

- Loved that they shed some light on Dumbledore. He's been the man pulling the strings for the past books, so it was really good to expose some of the mysteries. Also, thank god they didn't make him out to be some kind of saint! It worked out well the way she wrote it, I think. Though I get the impression his hovers a lot between evil and teary-eyed? Anyway, a character like Dumbledore has to lose some sympathy and power along the way, or the story would have failed along with him. There were a lot of things like that, building up since book five, and I think Rowling did well at resolving them.

- tonks and lupin dying - hmm, difficult. On one hand, the deaths occured weren't really "big" ones, like sirius and dumbledore, which surprised me a little. nonetheless, they shocked me in a quite subtle way. I didn't really care much about tonks and lupin (just because they weren't around a lot recently, ergo no deeper connection). But it wasn't lost on me that they had just married, got a child etc. etc.. quite terrible... I had my moments there.
Also, I love Fred and George. Thinking about George, being all alone now, makes me feel awful. I bet he sold his business and lives out his remaining life in grief.

- It was good that Harry got some booty (as much as a Rowling-teen can be expected to get - different than the silly "snogging" going on before that.. hard to explain what I mean) before getting ready for the big fight. And Ron/Hermione got a good kiss-scene, I was happy there. No drama in this respect, I've never been one to do much HP shipping. Unless of course, you count Sirius/Me. XD And Gary Oldman has a lot to do with that. Mmmmmm.

I know there's the argument that the epilogue read like bad fanfic. But, just recently, I came to read a certain Buffy/Angel fanfic (don't ask. I don't do drugs and I'm generally a good girl, I have to compensate!) in which the Senior-Partners-Demon-Army was defeated within two lines, the Powers That Be interpreted as a merry twin-version of Papa Smurf, Angel was made human and asked Buffy to marry him in front of Giles, AND ALL EVIL ERADICATED FOR A THOUSAND YEARS. Not to mention this took place in one and half pages' worth of writing. Did I mention the sex-scene that sounded like Jenna Jameson's last will?

Alas, IF YOU THINK THE EPILOGUE SOUNDS LIKE BAD FANFICTION YOU HAVE NEVER TRULY READ BAD FANFICTION.
With that being out of the way, yes, I thought it was rather unfortunate, too. And reviewing, it was a lot like the above mentioned fanfic, too.
Like I mentioned, I had not read it before, so I was feeling rather confused and alienated. There was one line though, that I was hoping for since the end of book six, and that made me smile happily and proudly: "One of them was a Slytherin and he was probably the bravest man I ever knew." That was worth the epilogue! Appreciation of its true heroes. A decent story needs that. I need that.

In all seriousness,
For some reason, the epilogue rather felt like an out-of-place attempt to bring lost innocence back where it had no place anymore. There has been some character development in the books, and while it's still very much a kids book, the characters grew up, and there was a decent amount of pain, death and general crazyness. The good guys were, good intentions acknowledged, not wearing snowwhite shirts anymore, and the bad guys weren't always who you expected them to be.
The epilogue seems very eager to undo everything, stamp it: "well, the good guys are happy, the bad ones are gone, no conflict!!" and all of sudden it's like we see Harry and his team with the eyes of their kids, parents in shining armour and the world a place of cookies and milk.

To finish this; Although it's the final book, it doesn't feel like the end yet, for me. I have only come to read the books when I first laid eyes on the first HP movie, so I'm quite anxiously waiting for the movies to come.
But it was an entertaining tale, a heroic battle, all question answered .. safe to say I feel a lot less frustrated than I did after, say the Angel finale. Or the X Files finale. And it didn't have the chapters over chapters of Happy Endings that LoTR produced - I was greatful for that.

I loved the book, I had a great time reading it, and I think it was great closure to a fantastic series. Thanks, and good night!

*Actually, this is not entirely true, but I can't be blamed. A spoiler-comment was lurking within a completely innocent post (I call TV gossip), revealing George's loss of his ear. But that wasn't really a lot of damage done!

random tv

2007-02-13T16:48:44Z

This veterinarian was giving those two giant turtles vaccination, and while one was lying on its back getting the shot (or whatever), the other one was all like TAT OMG MUST RUN!!! moving away frantically (haha) until it walked into a wall, and the vet came to pick it up .. sad, but SO FUNNY. Like this huge rock being all like "oh when I move quickly maybe they don't notice I'm missing" muahahhaa. I love animal shows.

tv rant

2007-02-01T21:32:52Z

So I'm watching this TV Series called "Numb3rs". Despite the totally 133t title, it's not so bad if you're into crime/drama style shows. It revolves around two brothers, one is a cop/agent, the other one a sort of math wiz, and they solve cases together, using totally awesome math skillz and lame miami vice dynamics.
Not to say it's not entertaining, but one thing I find absolutely ridiculous, is displaying actions like thinking, calculating etc .. all things that are not as graphic, obvious and generally well set to be shown on screen - with fancy animations. Think, any "hacker" tv/movie. Matrix pulled it off pretty well, those flashy green inverted kana were stylish and fulfilled their purpose well.
But that's a one-time thing. Do that five times an episode (45 minutes), and it gets old really quick.
So - math dude has to figure out some problem. Not exciting to film but essential to the plot - so, wheeeee! Zoom straight on a paper with lots of *scary*NUmb3rz, apply random photoshop effects, have lots of signs and random letters circle around the screen in flashy colors. Not to spoil the fun here, but when doing math, you do NOT see pi and a bunch of minuses rotate in your head, shiny and pretty in a wave of intense pinks and blues. Or maybe that's a special math-o-sphere I haven't reached, either way, tvpeopleplzstop.
MUST STOP.

cheerzombie @ 2007-01-25T18:28:00

2007-01-25T18:28:47Z

sometimes I wonder
why do people
on lj and myspace and whatnot
write like this
because
maybe I'm oldschool
maybe it's just me
but I just don't get it
too messy for iambic pentameter
and too lame for slam poetry
just makes you sound like a retard
seriously.

pain

2007-01-09T23:24:09Z

Ok just before I was studying my chinese characters for the day, put down the sheet to look something up and accidentally picked it up so that the characters were upside down ... and it was like GRAARR ARRRRGH WAHHHHHH!!!!! It was maybe the scariest thing I have EVER experienced!!!! Ok this might just be me hallucinating but all of sudden it seemed like all the neat, charming, tidy little characters had turned into BEASTS OF CHAOS bending their extremities and strokes at the most gruesome angles with no meaning attached whatsoever. They started to leave the little boxes they were placed in and crawled together to form a multitude of little messes just to SCARE ME.

Ah. Never try to read chinese characters upside down. It might seriously damage your sanity.

DS: BPN, h.Naoto, Batsu, Sexy Dynamite, Algonquins

2007-01-09T15:10:23Z

Time to get rid of a couple of things!
Prices are in Euro, Here is a useful currency converter.

I ship from Europe, but most prices are incl. worldwide shipping, anyway. If you're within Germany/Europe, ask for possible shipping discounts.

All prices given are basically negotiable, just please be reasonable with your offers =)

Thank you for looking!

My Ebay Feedback: here.

Algonquins lacy Babydoll

Fantastic algonquins babydoll. Made from black chiffon with lots and lots of different lace, very deconstructed. Straps cross in the back, closes on the side with a zipper. Fits a lot of sizes due to stretchy material and cut (size pretty much free from empire waist down).
I've only worn it once for about an hour, it's in perfect condition. I hate to let it go, it's one of my favourite tops, but it just doesn't suit me and I never wear it.

45Eur incl. worldwide shipping

h.Naoto skirt

h.Naoto skirt - lots of small ruffles. Closes with a zipper. Kind of a deconstructed look to it, as the ruffles aren't actually hemmed. Great condition, only worn a couple of times. Size S/M. Comes with a white underskirt made of netting, finished with a row of venise lace.

35 Eur incl. worldwide shipping

BPN deconstructed Skirt

One of my favourite skirts ever, though I just don't wear it as much anymore.

I'm offering the Black Peace Now skirt and blouse as a set for 80 USD incl. shipping to anywhere.

Victorian Maiden shirt bows

Great cutsew by Black Peace Now. Puff sleeves, and twin corset-lacing in front. Button-up front. Fantastic condition, I've only worn it once because I don't have anything to wear it with.

30Eur incl. worldwide shipping (discount if you're within Europe)

Refuse to be Usual poodle shirt

Really cute wool/knit short and puff-sleeved sweater with three red poodles in front. Very niceley tailored, doesn't made you look bulky (which I find can be a problem with sweaters). Worn a couple of times, but still in good condition.
10Eur incl shipping to anywhere

Algonquins Spider Web Skirt

This is actually my favourite skirt in the world and I was so happy when I got it. But it JUST DOES NOT SUIT ME, and I feel to old for poofy skirts, and omg fashion hates me.
Anyway, this is really superbly made. The Spiderwebs aren't just printed, they're actually all thick embroidery on very soft black mesh/tulle. It's in fantastic condition, I've only worn it twice, and only for a short time.

65Eur incl. shipping (sorry, it makes for a large package, so shipping is fairly expensive)

Black Peace Now Purse

Really cute briefcase style purse with a pink/red leopard print. Red patent adjustable strap. Fantastic condition, just used a couple of times.

30Eur incl. shipping

Batsu Leopard Skirt

Very cute leopard skirt. Pleated, with leopard pattern in brown/olive. Comes with black underskirt (black lace at the bottom), and a cute ribbon belt.

(shows actual color best)

30Eur incl. shipping

Any question, please don't hesitate to ask (measurements etc.. I try to reply immediately)! Serious offers only, please =D Thank you!! =D

Sam's Town

2007-01-07T23:15:56Z

Finally I got my hands on the new Killers CD and I've been listening to it very, very often recently and I love it to death. Just like the previous album it just doesn't get - old no matter how many times you play it. And yet it's completely different in style from the old one. While the dayview was very electro/retro/dance-ish (etc.etc.) this one is just... epic. Epic rock. The kind of soundtrack that will turn the smallest trifels into life-changing events. Makes you feel like the sun is rising for the first time in a thousand years when it was just yesterday that you watched the same procedure with regret. (dun dun) The kind of music that makes cleaning the toilet feel like you're wiping manhood clean from all sin.
Just very theatrical, it's fantastic.

And damn, they're rocking those mustaches.

post-angsty (?) shite

2007-01-06T21:05:13Z

A great change has come over me, and I am absolutely determined to not let it get away. 2007 must officially be the year to say goodbye to the cranky ass and HELLOWELCOMEBACK LINA!!! Don't dream it, be it! HA! I'll try to talk to people again. Though I wonder who will talk back to me since I have rather successfully broken up contact with pretty much every single friend of mine! except (not even) a handful. And I once had a pretty great amount of friends and acquaintances.
But then it's always been my course of action - if I can't stand myself, no-one else will so better not see anyone!
I wish I could say the recent time of absolute isolation (I've never been all that social, but compared to now I was Paris Hilton! -jk) has at least made me a better artist BUT alas, if staring at walls has ever created great art I will have. Otherwise, no. I stopped doing everything I liked and enjoyed. Sort of stripping myself of everything that I considered part of my identity, always afraid and curious of the underneath it. It's a process that I started long ago yet failed to realize it because I was BUSY. Ach.

I've spent a great deal of lying awake in bed and staring at the walls, checking up with Sylvia Plath if I'm "there yet". In that way, it was a fantastic experience, because I've seen things in my head that I wasn't aware they were there. I'm pretty sure that someday, I could end up in a mental institute. Let me now say that I'm not opposed to this at all - I like the idea of living in a secluded place with lots of insane people, funny medication and rubber walls. It's been very inspiring to a great many people and I'm actually fairly sure I'd make the best of it.
But I know now is not that time yet! I've had small talk with the creatures in my head and I know they will wait up until I'm ready, I'm not ready yet. I've got to get a couple of things done before I say hello to schizophrenia for good.

Anyway, for the time being, I'm with the living. I can joke about all this, as you can see. I started writing again, and I don't give a fuck if it's silly and ridiculous. I don't re-read it, it just feels good. I listen to a lot more music again. Maybe I drink too much, but that makes me feel good, too. I reconciled with photoshop, you know what that means. I finally got some new paint-thinner, and the oils and I are back on. I study somewhat regularly, I don't enjoy it, but it makes me feel accomplished.
My reading hasn't changed. That was probably the only constant, has always been, the only constant in my behavior. I think books are the least judgemental medium of all. And their smell has something wonderfully comforting.
I probably drink a little too much now, but that's ok. (I said that before)
I still have problems going out onto the streets and being amongst people by myself. Especially during daylight, large crowds of people. They mess me up, freak me out, make me want to find dark secluded corners for myself.
Sometimes random items scare me, or I start thinking up absurd, strange scenarios that make me panic buuuuut... well. Just trying not to focus as much on that. Distraction, distraction.

The past week was the first in an awfully long time that I can think of not a single thing that has been wrong with me! No random neurodermitis symptoms, no painful stomach aches, no headaches etc... it's great. And I even moved my sofa! I'm pretty sure the placement is against everything that the rules of good taste command but it's different and I enjoy that.

I still hate this city and I don't think that's going to change very much. Sure, Hate is a pretty strong word and I'm sure it's not the exact equivalent of my feelings, but it feels nice to put it that way. Feels very... direct. Truth is, I can't stand this place most of the time. It feels boring, plain, artificial to me. That doesn't mean it is - no, I'm sure this can be a very beautiful and exciting place to live in. But I realize more and more that it is not the right place for me at the moment. I feel nothing when I walk through these streets except habitual recognition. And to me, it's so so very important where I live. I draw so much energy (I know that sounds gay) from my environment. The other day I heard some guy on tv say "You can live in one place for years and yet not feel at home". My apartment here, my parents and my friends are my home, there's not doubt about that. After all, home is where your heart is. But I never felt like I belonged to this city and it's people, never felt part of it. There's nothing I have to give, and it's got nothing to give to me. I feel completely alienated. From time to time there are some bitter feelings, or blunt, stupid nostalgia.

I'll see where I'm going from here, though right now I think the kitchen is calling me. Kitchen, hello hello I'm coming.

On a side note, I seriously start thinking my fate is directly connected to my zebra-stripe sofa. It feels much better having it stand against the window!
All in all, it's only been about a week of improvement, but I feel confident that now's the time change my course just a little. It's not going to 180% turn. This episode of my life was nothing unlike "myself". It was very much "myself" indeed. Possibly a bit too much, just like a portrayal of the whole truth is somewhat witless, too much of myself, the pure identity, will obviously lead me to very dark places. I'm not yet ready to get stuck in them yet, and I'll have the real world play its games with me for a little while more. (that sounded quite dramatic, I admit. I enjoy the theatrical very much. As a matter of fact theatre as a form of art is the only way to display the truth of reality... okay thissss is too much).

I HAVE TOO MUCH STUFF

2007-01-05T14:05:59Z

I've just been going through my stuff - cleaning up my room, making some space etc... I have wayyy too much useless crap, but that's no news to anyone.

Though I've come across an almost overwhelming amount of random crystal bowls, fancy coffee cups and strange lace napkins. It's the kind of things that various aunts and grandmas will give to me as a kind of dowry saying "oh child I've got you something for when you move out!". It's sort of like a granny's promotional freebie.
But now that I've actually been considering my own apartment, and hypothetically checking funds and resources, I've given them some thought. And I can just see myself sitting on the floor of an apartment drinking my coffee out of champagne glasses and eating ramen from weird crystal bowls, keeping my flowers in tiny orange espresso cups - yet not having a table to eat on because I couldn't afford it. Now that's decadence.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year

2006-12-25T23:19:28Z

"You love your plant, don't you?"

"It's my best friend. Always happy, no questions. It's like me, you see? No roots."

cheerzombie @ 2006-11-13T19:29:00

2006-11-13T19:29:19Z

TRADING PLACES w/ Eddie Murphy is on TV (SAT1) omg yayyyyyy <3
Ok this is a fantastic movie, whatever you may think, great fun indeed. I'm having a happy evening!

cheerzombie @ 2006-11-10T22:52:00

2006-11-10T22:52:13Z

Meme taken from zombiekatz

Most recent Book read: The English Patient

Most recent DVD bought: let's see... actual DVD that I totally legally purchased at an actual store ... I believe "Donnie Darko"

Last TV show: Actually I just watched all of "I love the 80's" again on YouTube (bless the internets) as well as "I love the 80's strikes back" (ALL OF IT YES) but the last show I watched on tv was... knight rider?

Last Phonecall: Nico. Talking about how various acquaintances have been erased from the face of earth since they started playing World of Warcraft, and how he lost two months of his life doing that

Last SMS: "Ill be right there" to my friend, meeting for lunch

Last conversation: Dad, "Isn't there something important left to be done?" Me, "O__O;;;; o noez what did i fail now" Dad, "(tragic silence)" Me, "OMG WEEKEND'S FIRST DRINK!!!"

Last ICQ: don't use it

Last mail to: nikujaneji, Cookie Monster yelling DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU
Last mail from: nikujaneji

Last Song: I have nooooo idea ... but I have a whole lot of junk (awesome stuff) on my mp3player (ima oldschool) so it could be something from Little Richard to Bauhaus

Last Shopping Purchase: VWestwood bag ahhh I feel guilty enough

Last Food: Bread

Last Drink: Coke Light (I've been drinking so much of that stuff lately I have a feeling it's starting to eat away my guts like the acid it is

Last Laundry: Last weekend. I do laundry usually on weekends, because that's when I have the time etc. Also my closet holds enough to have me going five months without wearing the same thing twice

Last Photo: A cellphone-pic from the first snow of the year that I saw. It was a car covered in snow although the downtown of the city (and I) hadn't seen any of it yet, so it was kind of cute

Last ride in a car: Me driving it? That was like... in September ...